Dear Diary
by notcreativeenoughtomakeone
Summary: After a set of coincidences ends with Aelita in possession of Yumi's diary, the resulting maelstrom causes everyone to reevaluate their relationships to each other.


_**I decided while this is a very long one shot, it's too short to be divided into chapters. Thanks for reading.**_

 _ **I do not own Code Lyoko.**_

Ulrich had found himself nothing but frustrated for a year following the defeat of their greatest foe. Now all they had was time. However, it seemed Yumi assumed that meant she could take her dear sweet time. After a few advances, some rather embarrassing at that, Yumi had turned a cold shoulder to the very idea of a relationship beyond just being friends.

Sitting at the lunch table, laughing at her jokes, funny or not had worn him out. There was a limit to how long he could maintain the charade of not wanting more. He watched her lips as she talked and only wanted to press his against hers. The hair over her ear was just asking to be softly stroked back. When she rubbed her own shoulders, all he wanted was to dig his hands into her muscles and hear her softly coo as the tension was released.

Most nights when Ulrich was in his bed, they had the text message exchanges that Ulrich now realized was only reinforcing the platonic nature of their relationship. They texted about school, parents, the other members of the group. They never texted about their relationship, or the moments where if one thing had gone differently.

Ulrich was on his bed, looking straight up at his ceiling. His phone hadn't chimed in awhile so he picked up it off he bed next to his leg and looked at it. His last text was asking about her upcoming exams.

Ulrich sighed before he put his phone on the charger, set his alarms, and curled up under the blanket before Yumi responded.

That night, Ulrich woke up groggy from buzzing. He waited for his senses to turn on before he realized it was his phone. Attempting to find it without looking, he felt with his hand before he touched it and pulled it off the charger to put it in front of his face. It was three in the morning and Yumi was calling.

Ulrich hit answer and put it to his ear.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Ulrich asked, groggy and irritated.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep," Yumi said, sounding very awake and equally bored.

"And your first instinct was to call me, at three in the morning?" Ulrich asked as he sat up, and slid his back into the wall to lean against it.

"Sorry...I didn't even know what I wanted to talk about," Yumi said with humor in her voice, and Ulrich rubbed his eyes, not amused.

"We could talk about it being three in the morning and I like sleep. After all that does seem to be the most pressing matter at this moment," Ulrich said and Yumi giggled on the other side, making Ulrich actually smile. Her giggle always made him smile.

"Sorry, I don't know why I called. Probably because you're the only person who wouldn't immediately hang up," Yumi said and Ulrich let out a single second chuckle and yawned.

"Just give me a minute, I might be like everyone else," Ulrich said and Yumi smiled as she sat up and crossed her legs.

"Thanks for, humoring me, I guess," Yumi said and heard Ulrich inhale and exhale.

"We got school soon," Ulrich said and Yumi let out a long sigh and nodded though he wasn't there to see her do so.

"You're right, I'll see you tomorrow," Yumi said, and they both wished the other a good night and hung up.

Ulrich looked at his phone for a moment before he plugged it back into the charger and curled up under his sheet again. Yumi did the same at her house before they both looked up at their ceilings and let out a single breath of frustration. Ulrich frustrated at her, and Yumi frustrated with herself.

* * *

Ulrich stood next to Odd as he coffee filled up in front of him. He watched the stream of coffee drizzle into the cup and the steam rise. He looked up to listen to Odd and looked away for too long and turned back to see it had overflowed. He quickly grabbed the cup, the hot liquid burning his hand and the only thing he could do was hold on until he got used to it.

"Perfect," Ulrich said to himself sarcastically as he switched hands to shake his wet one off. He looked up to see Yumi approaching with his bag casually swung over her shoulder.

"Overflow again?" Yumi asked and Ulrich nodded and switch hands again, "Sorry about last night."

"Don't worry about it," Ulrich said and carefully took a sip to clear the top so he could walk without worry of splash, "Just, next time, call at two."

"I'll remember that," Yumi said and saw Jeremie and Aelita approaching while appearing to be in the midst of an argument, "Are they still going at it?"

"They are," Odd answered as Aelita stopped short of earshot before they got to close.

"Not here, not now, later," Aelita said and Jeremie huffed.

"Fine."

"Hey guys, morning," Aelita said as they arrived, trying to maintain some charade that everything was fine between them.

"Morning," Yumi said, playing along, but still flashing Aelita a look that expressed her desire for an explanation at a later time. Aelita understood the gaze and nodded with only her eyes.

"Morning," William said when he arrived and everyone greeted him, "What's the plan today?"

"Not sure yet, it's Saturday so we only have study hall. Guys want to do something tonight?" Yumi asked and everyone stood around, thinking silently.

"Movie?" Odd asked.

"We saw a movie last week," Jeremie said and everyone sighed, "Either way, nothing good is out."

"Next week is the anniversary," Aelita said and everyone looked at her, "Tuesday, it's the anniversary. We could go to factory. Not to the lab, just the factory."

"All in favor?" Odd asked and Aelita raised her hand, while no one else did, "All opposed?" No one raised their hands. The indifference was amazing, "Factory by default."

* * *

A year later, and the factory seemed more abandoned now than it did then. Nothing had changed, but it was kind of surreal being back. They walked along the assembly line together, until they decided to split up to check out different places they had never been to.

"So, what's the deal?" Yumi asked Aelita when it was just them, walking side by side in the offices. Aelita sat on an old dirty desk and looked at her lap.

"He's angry because I didn't apply for Paris," Aelita said and looked up.

"That's it?" Yumi asked.

"We were supposed to go to college together, we had talked about that when I got out of Lyoko. He's going to the one in Saint-Denis, they don't have the kind of music program I'm looking for," Aelita said and Yumi chuckled and sat next to her.

"Which colleges have you applied to?" Yumi asked and Aelita looked at her sideways.

"Most of the music conservatories," Aelita said and smiled, "I sent my demos with my applications. I've heard back from two. Both accepted me. Amsterdam and Berlin."

"That's great, but not one here? I know some of the academies around Paris have good programs."

"I haven't heard back. The one in Amsterdam was my number one," Aelita said and placed her face in her palms and wiped a few tears before Yumi saw them, "We're going to break up."

"I can't even think of a world where you two aren't together," Yumi said and Aelita let out a laugh and looked at her.

"I know, it's stupid, but I'm worried we go to different schools and we drift apart. Weekly train rides become monthly. Phone calls become texts, and soon we're only exchanging Christmas cards like relatives you hate."

"If a school from Paris accepts you, will you go there instead?" Yumi asked and Aelita didn't respond right away before she shrugged.

"Maybe. As much as I want to be near him, I don't want distance to control my life. I wouldn't ask him to switch."

Yumi placed her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her palms as she thought.

"Just wait, Paris might pop up, and you can have a calmer conversation with him, okay?" Yumi asked and Aelita nodded and pushed herself off the desk so they could go explore other areas of the factory.

Odd and Jeremie walked together through what seemed to be utility rooms while Ulrich and William looked around some of the equipment in maintenance storage. Ulrich and William were mostly silent, making the occasional comment at equipment and wondering what it was used for. They both knew what they wanted to talk about, but both assumed it was sore subject to the other.

"You get any college returns?" William asked and Ulrich shrugged.

"My dad already decided I was going to Berlin awhile ago. It makes since, legacy family, it's cheaper," Ulrich answered as he kicked a machine softly and listened as it echoed, "You?"

"I knew I wasn't going anywhere. I applied to technical schools. World needs electrical engineers too."

"I wish my dad would let me do something like that. His money, his say," Ulrich said and William chuckled and picked up a pipe off the ground and swung it into a machine, "You okay?"

"Here, try it," William said and extended the pipe to him. Ulrich took it and looked up, and swung high. The pipe smashed a dangling light with a bulb still it, making it rain glass.

"That does feel good," Ulrich said and swung at the next light, shattering it.

"Save some for me," William said and Ulrich handed him the pipe so he could smash some lights as well.

"What are you releasing?" William asked, with a smile as he swung and smashed another light.

"What do you mean?"

"Frustration, anger, disappointment, what are you releasing?" William asked and Ulrich just stared at him.

"Example, all of my friends are going to schools. Going out into the world to do real things. Doctors, lawyers, the composer of a symphony orchestra. And I'm," William said and slamming the pipe into a machine, "a" _whack_ "god" _whack_ "damn" _whack_ "nothing!" William shouted and kept slamming the pipe, hitting different components in a flurry of blows until he paused, pulled back to swing on last time but didn't. Breathing deep he handed the pipe to Ulrich who looked at him flabbergasted.

"What the hell was that?" Ulrich asked.

"Everyone is doing things. The only schools that accepted me are trade schools. Those were the fall backs of my fall backs. I know I'm better suited to work with my hands, but the option would have been nice. That's my release, what do you got?"

Ulrich looked at the pipe then looked for something to hit. Seeing a desk with thin metal legs, he thought how nice it would be to make those buckle. Gripping the pipe in his hands, he thought about what made him angry or frustrated. After only a moment, Yumi came to mind and he swung. The leg was more sturdy than it looked so it sent an awful vibration up his arms that made him drop the pipe.

"Dammit!" Ulrich shouted as he flexed his hands until the pins and needles stopped.

"I ain't buying it. What's pissing you off?" William said and Ulrich grabbed the pipe and swung at the leg again. It dented it and a sent vibration up again, but he only tightened his grip and dug deep to swing again.

"I just want a god damn answer!" Ulrich shouted and swung, the vibration numbing his elbows, "This back and forth, I do!" _whack_ "I don't!" _whack_ "I just want to be friends!" _whack_ "mixed signal!" _whack_ "crap!" _whack, whack, whack_ "Like a little girl plucking a flower. I'm just so, god damn sick of it!"

Ulrich unleashed a barrage of swings at the leg that slowly bent and buckled, until the pipe bent it so badly a swing forced the metal to wrap around and hold the pipe, making Ulrich lose grip and fall to the ground.

Ulrich looked at the ceiling, breathing deep as William crouched next to him and smiled.

"Feel better?"

"A little, yeah," Ulrich said and took William's hand so he could pull him up to his feet. Ulrich looked at the warped, tangled metal and let out a long sigh. That's how he felt inside; warped, tangled, a mangled mess of confusion.

"I know nothing I can say would sound objective," William said and put his hands in his pockets and looked down, let out a breath then looked back up, "But maybe it isn't either of us. Maybe she just isn't looking."

"Every time I come to that conclusion, she seems to change her mind. It's like she wants to keep me close, but at an arms reach at the same time," Ulrich said and William turned when he heard footsteps. Odd poked his head in and saw the glass and the pipe lodged into the desk leg.

"Whoa," Odd said, prolonging the word and stepping in.

"Explains the racket," Jeremie said as he stepped in next.

"Wanna take a whack at it?" William asked, attempting to pry the pipe loose. William put his foot on the desk and pulled it free and offered it to them. Odd eagerly took it and knocked out a bulb with glee.

Jeremie shrugged and winded up, the pipe slipping out of his hand. It crashed through the window where they heard it land on the main floor.

"What the hell!" They heard Yumi shout. They walked to the window and saw glass on the ground and the pipe in between Yumi and Aelita as it narrowly avoid them both.

"Jeremie did it!" The other three shouted in unison. Aelita shot him a look and held her gaze as he nervously stepped out of sight.

* * *

Hiroki leaned on Yumi's door frame and knocked. His sister was on her bed with ear buds, that she pulled out and lifted her chin up at him.

"What?" Yumi asked.

"Aelita is at the door," Hiroki said and Yumi sat up and walked to her door. She gently shooed him away from her door, closing it behind her. Hiroki huffed and took a step, and heard her door softly creek, her open window revealing it didn't latch. Hiroki pushed it open and peered inside.

"No way, right in the open," Hiroki said and stepped in and walked to her bed. A black composition notebook was next to her pillow, so he picked it up opened it to a random page. It was a diary.

"Black mail here I come," Hiroki said and heard footsteps. He reached around and slid it into his waistband and under his shirt and walked out just before she was around the peak of the stairs. Hiroki stepped to his room and heard Yumi at her door.

"Hiroki!" Yumi shouted and in a brilliant moment of panic, he ran to his window, pulled the notebook out and threw it, "Hiroki!"

"What?" Hiroki asked as she opened his door to see him sitting at his window.

"We got the downstairs," Yumi said and he nodded. She left his door and he looked out the window to see her book on the sidewalk. He couldn't get outside without her knowing, so all he could do was groan in irritation.

Later in the evening Yumi said bye to Aelita who left as Hiroki watched from his window. Aelita would have to walk straight pass it. Holding his breath, he watched her wave, and exit from the gate, and almost stepped pass it. Aelita stopped and twisted her neck to look down and backwards at it.

"Walk away, walk away," Hiroki said and Aelita bent down and picked it up, "Don't read it, don't read it." She read it. "Don't tell Yumi, don't tell Yumi." She started to walk toward Kadic, "That might be worse."

* * *

Aelita walked into her room, closing the door behind her. Sitting on her bed she kicked off her shoes and placed the notebook she found next to her. Taking off her jacket and changing from jeans to shorts, she picked it up and turned to a random page.

 _'I guess the word I can use to best describe my feelings is conflicted. I'm scared of ruining it with romance.'_

Aelita closed it and tossed it across the room.

"It's a diary. I'm eavesdropped into someones soul," Aelita said looked at it. Reading someone's diary was just awkward to her. She took the tiniest glance and figured free notebook, and now her curiosity was peaked so she walked over and picked it up. Maybe someone put a name on it.

Aelita looked around the outside and saw nothing. The back of both covers, the first few pages. Nothing. Now she had to read it just to find a name or two and take a good guess.

Turning to page one, Aelita sat on her bed and started to read.

 _'Another notebook. Jeez, I'm losing count. What to_ _write about. So today I found myself looking at him during lunch. Then I go into complete lala day dream land and imagine myself running my fingers through his mop. Why do I play hard to get, when that's what runs through my mind during lunch?'_

Whoever wrote it, didn't use dates, and the paragraphs and topics were very scatter-shot.

 _'Awkward, so yeah, he asked me to dance. Granted we were at a dance. Not together at the dance, but all I could so was look at his hand and smile. He used to be nervous and shy. Recently, he's so forward and open about it, it's making me nervous and shy.'_

Aelita shook her head and tossed the book aside.

"Poor guy, he's just getting dragged along," Aelita said and found her pajamas and gathered her shower kit to bathe before bed.

Aelita came back from her shower, her hair wrapped neatly in a towel. Sitting on her bed she rubbed lotion on her legs as she looked at the notebook and flipped it open to read while she moisturized.

 _'I hate that little twerp. He just needs to leave me alone.'_

 _'Dad is pissed at mom, what a shocker.'_

 _'So, I saw him looking at another girl, and I wasn't sure who I wanted to maul.'_

"If you like him so much, claim him," Aelita said and turned the page. Several more pages of quick one line entries. Similar themes. Hard to get, jealousy, and whoever the twerp was. Three more pages and finally paragraphs again.

 _"So, he got me flowers today, complimented my outfit, noticed my haircut, and remembered my birthday. Same day. All I say is thanks. What is wrong with me? Other girls didn't notice I thinned my hair, but a guy does. A straight guy. He understands me, he knows me, truly knows me, and yet all I do is say what a good friend he is.'_

"Jeremie hasn't even noticed how long my hair is now," Aelita said and finished her legs, so slipped on a pair of panties and dropped the towel to put her shirt on.

 _'He asked me to go see a movie with him. Just us. Usually it's a group, but this time he asked to be alone with me. I said no, made up some excuse. I like having the support he brings in my life. I'm worried if I go further, we can't go back. If we break up, we're done. Even with that, I see him lose interest and do the rational thing of seeking someone else. Then I react so irrationally. I pucker my lips, hold back tears and he melts. He sees me react like that and thinks, maybe I do like him. Which I do, and he's correct to assume. I don't know how he stands me.'_

"Neither do I," Aelita said and closed it, "This girl has a great guy, and can't commit because she's afraid." Her mind began to compare this mystery man to Jeremie, and Jeremie came up short. Maybe the girl embellished, but still.

* * *

Aelita sat at breakfast with the book open as she ate and read. It was like reading the most irritating love story told from the perspective of someone who didn't know what they had. As she slowly chewed, she read about him telling her how he felt, and her wanting to be friends. Very good friends. What did that even mean?

"Very good friends? That's like a friend with benefits without sex," Aelita said and closed the book frustrated at the narrator. Aelita put the book in her bag as Ulrich approached and sat across from her.

"Morning," Ulrich said and sipped his coffee.

"Hey," Aelita said and focused on her breakfast.

"Your hair is getting really long," Ulrich said, and Aelita looked up at him, "Seriously, it looks good. You should have done it sooner. I like when that one strand hangs next to your eye, it's cute."

Aelita just looked at him, wanting to say thanks, but was tongue tied. She made a few noises, and Ulrich asked if she was alright.

"I'm fine, thanks," Aelita said and found herself running her fingers through her hair as she couldn't hide a smile.

"What?" Ulrich asked, and Aelita finally realized she was giving him a weird look.

"Sorry," Aelita said and took a bite and Ulrich let out a chuckle as Jeremie sat next to her. He kissed her cheek and Aelita looked at him and brushed her hair to make him notice.

"Morning," Jeremie said and Aelita tossed her hair and Jeremie just looked at her with a blank expression, "Yeah?"

"Nothing," Aelita said then let out a sigh, and looked up at Ulrich who rolled his eyes. Aelita kicked his shin from under the table and mouth 'shut up' at him.

* * *

By twenty pages and the end of the day, Aelita wanted to strangle this girl.

"What is her problem?" Aelita asked and scanned the page, "And use pronouns, is that too much to ask for? A name, a place. It's all, ambiguous."

 _'I love when he wears that shirt. He's owned it since before he bulked up, and now it stretches and shows the outlines of his muscles as it hugs him. For being such a tom boy, I'm such a girl sometimes.'_

"What? And he's ripped? This girl has a buff prince charming, and she's not sure about how she feels?"

 _'We fought today. Been awhile since our schedules linked up.'_

"They scheduled a fight...what?" Aelita asked, confused at that statement.

 _'I went to his room to borrow his text book because I left mine at home, and the door didn't shut all the way. He changed shirts and...damn. I wanted it. Maybe it's time I actually give_ _VERY good friends a legitimate definition.'_

"Floozy," Aelita heard herself say out loud, making herself laugh, "Why do I care?"

 _'He didn't dry his hair all the way, so it was still damp in the morning. It looked sleek and shiny, and like it was begging for my fingers to mess it up.'_

"I get it, he's hot," Aelita said and skipped pages. Those statements of hormonal desire were five pages long, "I will kill her, I swear. Let him plow you or don't. You can't be this horny, and this much of a tease at the same time."

 _'It hurt more than I thought it would...'_ Aelita read as it went to the next page, _'Saying no again.'_ Aelita finally snapped and threw the book at her wall.

"She is so lucky she doesn't like pronouns, because I would find her!" Aelita quietly shouted, and buried her face into her pillow to release her frustration with a scream. She rolled to her back and looked at her ceiling and took in a deep breath.

"Why do I care!"

* * *

Aelita left the diary in her room, because now she couldn't stand to read anymore. At least for now. It wasn't healthy to spend the entire day that angry. This girl as she describes, was being fawned over by Adonis, and yet kept making up excuses.

Ulrich was first at the table again and Aelita looked up at him and back down.

"What's up?" Ulrich asked.

"Nothing..I..." Aelita started, wanting to tell him about the diary, then decided against it, "Never mind. I'm just irritated."

"Why?"

"Just...don't. Not now, okay?" Aelita asked and Ulrich agreed to drop it. Jeremie sat down next to her and she turned to him.

"What do you think of my hair?" Aelita asked and Jeremie blinked and looked at it. He had no idea what he was supposed to see.

"It's...thinner?" He asked and Aelita groaned and picked up her tray and walked away. Jeremie sat, confused and looked Ulrich, "Darker?"

"Not even close," Ulrich said and sipped as he let out a laugh into his coffee.

"Swept over her..." Jeremie said and saw her leave the cafeteria after dumping her full tray, "Seriously, help."

* * *

"I'm just a little confused as to why you're suddenly so upset," Jeremie said after school when he asked her to come to his room to talk.

"I don't feel...like I'm appreciated," Aelita said and Jeremie let out a breath and sat down.

"I don't even know what the means," Jeremie said.

"Every once in awhile, I want to hear a compliment. Pull my chair out, hold open a door. Notice a six inch difference in the length of my hair," Aelita explained and Jeremie didn't respond, "Well?"

"I'm sorry," Jeremie said and stood up in front of her, "I'm slow to these things. I know you'd like me to...just know to do things."

"I'm sorry too," Aelita said and hugged him, "Are we going to be okay in college?"

"We'll be close," Jeremie said and Aelita shook her head in his shoulder and back up.

"No, we won't be. I didn't get into Paris," Aelita said and Jeremie stared at her, trying to find words, "The school in Paris has a more...classical program. My style is a little too modern."

"Where does that leave us?" Jeremie asked after nearly twenty seconds.

"I don't know," Aelita said, holding back tears as she sat on his bed and looked at her lap, "I don't know."

"We have an expiration date," Jeremie said and Aelita looked up, in full tears now, and neither confirmed nor denied.

* * *

Aelita was laying on her bed after talking to Jeremie, still in tears, looking straight up. They rolled off her face in a way that tickled her cheeks and chin, so she wiped them away, but more followed. She rolled to her side and inhaled and exhaled as she felt herself curling into a ball and shivering under her blanket. Years of her life, gone.

Looking on her dresser, she saw the diary so walked over and picked it up. Maybe if she got angry, she'd stop crying.

 _'Next year I'm in college and he'll still be at Kadic. Maybe the separation will be good for us. Maybe it'll make me stop being scared.'_

"You'll confess, make him your boyfriend, then change your mind when he graduates," Aelita said and in a huff and turned a few pages.

 _'I had that dream again. The one I only write and don't tell. The one were I wake up wet.'_

"Didn't need to know that," Aelita said.

 _'He makes love to me all night, I quiver from his touch. His lips trace my body. And all I do is tremble and moan his name...'_ before it went to the next page.

"What's his name? Moaning who's name? Oh who!?" Aelita shouted and turned the page to see blank paper.

"What...that's it," Aelita said and scrolled through to see the rest was blank.

"She's a controlling, keep him on the hook manipulator, and she leaves me a cliff hanger," Aelita said and tossed the diary on the floor.

Suddenly a knock came from her door. Standing up she looked at herself in the mirror to see her eyes weren't as puffy so opened the door and saw Ulrich. He was in pajamas; shorts and a tank top.

"I heard," Ulrich said and Aelita sighed and looked at her floor, "You okay."

"Besides the fact I just wasted three years of my life, I'm fine," Aelita said and Ulrich couldn't help but smirk, so she shook her head, "Really, I'll be fine."

"If you need to talk, or even just a shoulder," Ulrich said and Aelita smiled and nodded.

"I know, thanks," Aelita said and looked at his bare arms. They were muscled, and when he crossed them, she blushed and couldn't turn away. His arms pushed his chest up, and she swallowed and stared.

"Aelita, my eyes are up here," Ulrich said and she turned beat red. Her eyes found his, and he was laughing now. Aelita took one step back, and very subtly slammed her door.

* * *

Jeremie noticed Aelita wasn't at breakfast. Ulrich sat across from him, sipping his coffee as always.

"I don't know what to do," Jeremie said and looked at him.

"You could apply to her school, or one near it," Ulrich said and Jeremie went silent.

"I don't know..."Jeremie started to say.

"Then stop complaining," Ulrich said and Jeremie looked down, "Show her you want it to work, or shut up."

* * *

Aelita sat on Yumi's bed as she told her the details and Yumi sat next to her and hugged her.

"You could enjoy the time you guys have left," Yumi said and Aelita looked at her and shook her head.

"I don't want it to end in desperation," Aelita said before Yumi's mom called her. Yumi excused herself and walked downstairs while Aelita leaned back on hit her head on something under the blanket. Feeling under she pulled out a composition notebook and held it in front of her.

"What do we have here," Aelita asked and opened it.

 _'The twerp won't admit it, but I know he stole it. I can't find, I can't prove it, but I know he did.'_

Aelita heard a door across the hall open so she walk to Yumi's door and saw Hiroki for a split second as he walked in. She walked out of Yumi's room and into Hiroki's. As he searched his drawer for something, he heard his window open and turned to see Aelita looking outside.

"What are you doing?" Hiroki asked and Aelita laughed and looked at him.

"You have to be kidding me," Aelita said and laughed harder, "You threw her diary out of the window."

"I...don't tell her," Hiroki half begged before Aelita shook her head and shut his window.

"The poor guy is Ulrich," Aelita said and laughed, as she left his room, completely ignoring his pleas.

Aelita put the diary back as she heard Yumi coming up. Yumi immediately noticed Aelita was in a different mood.

"What?" Yumi asked.

"Why haven't you dated Ulrich?" Aelita asked and Yumi blushed and looked away.

"Please, we're just friends," Yumi answered and Aelita smiled.

"Really, so you wouldn't mind if another girl took him?" Aelita asked and Yumi blushed brighter.

"I'd need to approve, but other than that," Yumi said and Aelita smiled wider and stood up.

"What if it was me?" Aelita asked and Yumi finally faced her, beat red and shaking.

"What?"

"You heard me. What if it was me, do you approve of me?" Aelita asked and Yumi hesitated.

"That wouldn't happen though," Yumi said and saw Aelita's expression, "Would it?"

"Depends on your answer." Yumi paused and Aelita walked over to her.

"No matter who it is, you will say no," Aelita said and Yumi looked at her, and had absolutely no idea what to say.

"Stop keeping him at an arms length. I know you're worried about being friends still if you break up. You won't not be friends. The only reason you won't be, if you keep this up, and suddenly he realizes he's wasted five years on you, and he will resent you for it."

"Why are you telling me this?" Yumi asked and Aelita took Yumi's hands.

"Because, if you don't do anything about it, another girl will. If you let it get that far, no amount of restrained tears, or half confessions will sway him."

* * *

Ulrich opened Aelita's door to see she wasn't there. He turned her lock to secure her door, but saw a composition notebook on her bed. He grabbed it and read a few lines.

 _'We fought today. Been awhile since our schedules linked up.'_

"This isn't Aelita's," Ulrich said and turned a few more pages, "It's Yumi's."

Ulrich had no idea why Aelita had it, but he placed it on the bed and closed the door. However, he didn't let the knob go. If he let it go, it would turn and lock. He held the door, and thought.

After nearly a minute, his curiosity got the best of him, and he walked back to his room with the diary in his hand.

* * *

Ulrich knew it was Yumi's because a few of the events mentioned in the early pages. Events that only involved him and Yumi. The sparring, his confessions, asking her to movies, and dances. He read it from her perspective and it annoyed him further.

"Serious, how can she say she likes me this much, and not?" Ulrich asked himself as he read.

 _'I went to his room to borrow his text book because I left mine at home, and the door didn't shut all the way. He changed shirts and...damn. I wanted it. Maybe it's time I actually give_ _very_ _VERY good friends a legitimate definition.'_

Ulrich read that and blushed. He turned a few pages and read more.

 _'We may have to stop sparring. I've always been able to keep up, and win just as much as he does. Now, he's so strong and the differences in our weights, I might as well be a rag doll. Before it just made me fight harder. Now, it just makes me horny.'_

 _'We went at it for twenty minutes. Fight, tackle, pin, reset. If I can sink in a choke hold, I can win. I can use light blows to make him adjust his footing and topple him, but I have to do it fast because he resets his stance the moment he realizes my intent.'_

 _'At the end, sweat is dripping off of us. My hair is drenched, I can see droplets slizzer down his hair and off his chin. We reset, square off, and in a flurry I grunt from being thrown to my back hard on the mat. He followed through and pinned me with one hand with his fist drawn back. Perfect form, and we hold.'_

 _'We stare at each other, both breathing deep as I notice my arms are spread out above my head, the way I imagined I would be naked, spread out on silk sheets covered in rose petals. His left hand is on my right bicep, his knee is next to my crotch, and I'm underneath him.'_

 _'I want us to be friends. That's why I don't want to spar anymore. Because if he leaned down and kissed me, it would be over. I would be so filled with adrenaline and hormones, only taking me right then and there on the mat what have satisfied me.'_

Ulrich closed the book and let his mind wander. He was that close to ending this dance around. He was that close to actually having sex.

Then Ulrich realized something, the only reason he didn't, was because he didn't know. Now he did. Yumi and him hadn't sparred in awhile, and now he knew why. At least that had an explanation.

Suddenly his phone vibrated and it was from Yumi. He nearly dropped his phone when he saw it.

 _'Wanna fight?'_

* * *

Yumi was stretching in the gym, and felt her heart racing. She knew exactly what she was doing, and was scared she was doing it on purpose. The last time they rolled on the mats, they almost rolled in a bed. Now, that was her goal. Yumi knew she didn't have the spine to just say it, so she needed to get into the right state of mind.

Aelita had done a number on her when they last spoke. She sounded almost angry when they spoke. Like she knew more than she ever could about how she felt and why she felt it. More importantly, why she didn't need to feel that way.

Walking over to her bag, she took a sip of water, dug in her bag and pulled out a condom. Just in case. She blushed at the idea and heard the door open. She quickly stuffed it back in and turned around to see Ulrich walking toward her.

'He wore the shirt, game over.'

Ulrich approached her in shorts and his gray shirt. He owned the shirt since before his bulk up, so now it just hugged him tightly. Every step he took it flexed around his muscles and Yumi felt herself wanting to look away so he wouldn't see the blush.

"What's up?" Ulrich asked as he put his bag down next to hers.

"Nothing, just needed to blow off some steam," Yumi said and together they set up the mats.

They made small talk as they stretched and both noticed how nervous the other was. Neither mentioned it. Even coming with the same goal in mind made it awkward as they took stances and struck. Ulrich's plan was to fight till he pinned her, and give her the ending she wanted. Yumi wanted to silence the voice that told her she just wanted to friends.

Yumi quickly moved and made him change his footing, and toppled him when he did. They reset and Yumi decided she was going to let him pin her. All she had to do was kick and let Ulrich grab her leg. He would then sweep the foot and drop his weight. Seemed like a plan, but when she kicked, Ulrich decided he was going to rush, and ran his groin straight into her foot.

Ulrich went to his knees and keeled over as Yumi began shouting apologies. He assured it was okay, but he still didn't get up right away. As he finally got to his feet and seemed to have shaken it off.

"Keep going?" Yumi asked and Ulrich nodded. They took their stances.

Ulrich figured the a rush wasn't going to work. He could make her back step and use her retreat to sweep her. Ulrich high kicked slower, so he always telegraphed, and Yumi always back stepped because she couldn't block him force on force. Perfect. Yumi's plan to get pinned was to go force on force. She would rush him and he's toss her like a rag doll. Perfect.

They moved at the same time and Yumi ran her face into his foot.

Now Yumi was on the ground in pain and Ulrich was apologizing. The blow made her spit blood but by in large it could have been worse.

"I rushed, I wasn't patient," Yumi assured him and they took stances.

This went on for ten minutes, of both of them hurting each other in attempts to pin and get pinned. Ulrich was punched in the throat, was pinned instead, and had jammed his finger under Yumi's breast. They weren't sure how that happened. Yumi received an uppercut in the arm pit, elbowed in the ear, and punched in the breast, which was unrelated to the jammed finger.

"Right in the boob," Yumi said as she rubbed it and paced until it didn't hurt.

"Want me to rub it?" Ulrich asked and Yumi shot him a look, "Sorry."

"That hurts by the way," Yumi said before they took stances. This wasn't working.

"One last round, this is getting dangerous," Ulrich said and they both decided to fight like they always do.

Yumi moved with several low kicks, Ulrich stepping back to avoid them before he stepped forward and swung mid body. Yumi caught his arm and spun, pulling it back behind his back. Ulrich spun, grabbed her wrists and pulled her. He put his foot behind her and pushed. Yumi grabbed his neck and planted her feet on his thighs so was able to roll back and pin him instead.

Yumi couldn't drop her knees to lock his hips, so he easily reversed it. Ulrich tossed her, and held on her shoulders to land directly on top of her. The one round they weren't trying to get here, is where they did.

'Finally,' they both thought at the same time.

Breathing deep, and covered a thin layer of sweat, Yumi looked up at him as he looked down at her.

'Do it,' Yumi said to herself.

Every impulse told Ulrich to do it. Her lips were so close, he slowly released her shoulder and slid his hand down, and felt her heartbeat. He saw her swallow, her throat move and he wanted to kiss up her neck. He knew what she wanted. He knew what he wanted. Even as consensual as this was, how much they both wanted it. It felt forced. It felt like he was taking advantage of her.

Ulrich let her go, and stood up.

'No, no, no!' Yumi screamed in her head.

Ulrich helped Yumi to her feet and they both looked at each other, and Ulrich could visibly see the disappointment on her face. She put her hair behind her ear, walked to her bag then put it over her shoulder. Ulrich put the mat away and grabbed his own bag. They walked out, side by side and paused at the door. He was going left, her right.

"That was...painful," Yumi said and Ulrich chuckled, then realized she meant in more than one way.

"This is out of the blue, and we've talked about it before, but do you want to do something," Ulrich said and Yumi looked at him and got nervous.

'He's asking me out again.'

"Just us," Ulrich said and Yumi looked down and then back up.

'Here comes the no.'

"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Yumi asked and Ulrich hesitated. He didn't plan far enough because he never assumed she'd say yes.

"Uhh...I'll text you," Ulrich said and Yumi nodded and said bye before she walked away. Ulrich stood at the gym doors holding his bag.

"Did she say yes?"

* * *

Yumi had destroyed her closet in an attempt to find something to wear. Ulrich had suggested something simple for their night out, and she was making it complicated. All he asked for was a movie, a walk, coffee and dessert. Simple.

Over the course of several hours Yumi had almost all of her closet on her bed as she sat on her desk chair and kept changing her mind. Too old, too shy, too slutty, too tame, too flirty, not flirty enough. Every article of clothing had a flaw.

After three hours of frustration Yumi heard a knock on her door. Turning her head, she saw Aelita smiling and leaning on the door frame.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Yumi asked and Aelita walked in and saw the mess.

"Hiroki called me, said you could use some reinforcements," Aelita said and Yumi let out a laugh and sat on her clothes, "So, what prompted this madness?"

"I..uh...have a date," Yumi said and Aelita smiled wide and couldn't restrain a little squeal of excitement.

"Did you actually say yes?" Aelita said and Yumi nodded.

"Yeah, I don't know it's...time, I guess," Yumi said with a smile, "Never thought I'd be this nervous though."

"You're a wreck," Aelita said, making Yumi groan and fall backwards onto her clothes.

"I don't know what impression I'm trying to make," Yumi said and picked up a black skirt, "This says I have one thing in mind." A cross strapped dress she thought she'd never wear, "This says my mom picks some of my clothes to keep me pure."

"I think it's cute," Aelita said and looked at it, "You ever gonna wear it?" Yumi saw her expression and her intent and tossed it over to her while saying she could have it, "Sweet."

"What does this one say?" Yumi asked and held up a jean shorts and a spaghetti strap.

"I like older boys who don't know I'm actually twelve," Aelita said and Yumi tossed it aside and held up a sweat pants and a tank top, "That looks like you'd be more interested in taking me to the movies."

Another hour passed and they were making a game out of it.

"I'm trying to get my dad's attention."

"Guess what we did last night?"

"It has this many buttons for a reason."

"I came here to work out, not get checked out."

After the fun was over Yumi groaned and laughed, falling onto her chair and letting out a sigh.

"What If I just dress, like I always do?" Yumi asked.

"You mean dress in clothes he already likes seeing you in? That sounds crazy," Aelita said sarcastically and Yumi laughed picked up a pair of black jeans and a gray spaghetti strap.

"Let's me be reserved, but flirty at the same time," Yumi said and Aelita shrugged, essentially saying she could care less.

* * *

Ulrich had decided, his clothing didn't matter. He still wanted to look nice, but he severally doubted his clothing was what had been stopping them for so long. He decided on jeans, button shirt and a blazer.

They ate their own dinners and met at the gate of the school. Ulrich wanted to meet her at her house, and walk her the entire way, but Yumi said she'd meet him half way. Ulrich arrived first, so decided to start walking to her house before she rounded the corner. They walked down the sidewalk toward each other and stopped.

"When does the movie start?" Yumi asked and Ulrich smiled at her.

"About an hour, should give us plenty of time," Ulrich answered and she smiled back. They looked at each other, and both suddenly looked away and chuckled.

"What is wrong with us?" Yumi asked and Ulrich looked back up, "We can't even look at each other."

"The reason we can't is restraint," Ulrich said and Yumi looked up and felt herself licking her lips, "We set up a boundary, and decided to not cross it. Looking away was easier."

"Does this mean, we're submitting to it. If only a little?" Yumi asked and Ulrich nodded.

"I think it does," Ulrich said and smiled, and before he knew it, Yumi kissed his cheek. She took his hand and together they began to walk.

They both agreed the movie was a solid 'okay' and left the theater talking about how it would have been better. Before they knew it, they had been walking for nearly an hour before they decided to get their coffee and dessert. The movie was old news when their cake arrived and their coffee was warm.

"I don't know why I've been afraid of this," Yumi said and Ulrich chuckled and leaned his arms on the table, and noticed Yumi did the same.

"Why have you been?" Ulrich asked and Yumi took in a breath, and sunk back into her seat.

"I just said I don't know," Yumi said and Ulrich smiled.

"Give me some indication," Ulrich asked and Yumi inhaled and slowly let out a deep sigh.

"What if we don't work out, and we can't go back," Yumi said and Ulrich shrugged

"We can't live our lives on the what ifs," Ulrich said and Yumi smiled.

"I guess we can't," Yumi said and they smiled at each other.

It's a good thing Yumi wasn't given a curfew, because she wasn't going to make it home on time. They barely made it to his door before their pent up tension was released. Good thing Odd was out, cause the moment the door shut, Yumi went in for the kill.

Every ounce of Ulrich's being wanted to say this was impulsive and they should wait. Every ounce of Yumi's being wanted to be a little harder to get. This was nearly three years of pure, raw, tension being let go. And they let it all go.

Yumi went for his belt before his shirt. Ulrich pulled her shirt off and reached to unhook her bra. The room became a flurry of clothes, a series of accidental injuries, and a symphony of restrained, and not so restrained noises.

* * *

Aelita sat on her bed going over her history book when he door knocked. Placing the text book next to her, she stood up and asked who it was as she approached the door.

"It's me," she heard Jeremie's voice say from the other side of the door. Aelita opened it and saw Jeremie with an envelope in his hand and saw it was opened.

"Hey," Aelita said and Jeremie extended the letter out to her, "What is it?"

"My acceptance letter," Jeremie said and she took it from his hand, "To Amsterdam."

"What?" Aelita asked and pulled it out of the envelope, "You applied."

"You applied to my schools, how is it fair that I don't apply to yours?" Jeremie said and Aelita smiled then looked up at him, "I know college will be different. We'll be different. I'm not ready to close the book on us, not ever.'

"Jeremie, you're changing your entire plan for me," Aelita said and Jeremie shook his head.

"I beg to differ. The plan was always us going to college together. We haven't changed the plan at all," Jeremie said and Aelita leaned into the hallway and looked both ways. When she saw no one she pulled him into the room and shut the door.

"Aelita?" Jeremie asked as he tumbled into her room.

"Shut up," Aelita said, thrusting her mouth to his and falling with him onto her bed.

* * *

Aelita woke up to the sound of her phone chiming from a text message. Aelita attempted to move and noticed she wasn't the only one in her bed. Jeremie was asleep next to her as she grabbed her phone and carefully climbed off of him and looked at he message.

' _Big news to share, coffee?'_ Yumi asked.

 _'Bigger news to share, sure,'_ Aelita said and looked at Jeremie, then at her naked body. Aelita took in a deep breathe and smiled before she woke up Jeremie and got dressed.

Jeremie was putting his socks on while Aelita slid her jeans up her legs and looked for a bra. Even after last night, she kept her back to him, which Jeremie found a little cute. Bra and shirt on she found socks and sat on her bed to put them on. Looking over at him, he was just smiling at her and she blushed and looked away.

"What?" Aelita asked and Jeremie shook his head.

"Nothing," Jeremie said and Aelita smiled back before putting on her shoes.

They kissed before they split up, promising to meet later. Aelita walked toward the school gates and saw Yumi leaning against it.

"How did you get here so fast?" Aelita asked and Yumi smiled.

"I didn't go home," Yumi said and looked at her, her face asking the question. Yumi raised her eyebrows and nodded, "Your news still bigger?"

"Depends on who's boyfriend is bigger," Aelita said and Yumi gave her the same face Aelita just gave her. Aelita also answered with a nod.

* * *

The girls sat with the coffee and talked about their respective evenings. Yumi was more curious how Aelita and Jeremie worked things out. Aelita told him, and Yumi smiled at what he did for her. They always assumed the other would lose it first, and they were both wrong. They giggled as they described their evenings.

"I thought a relationship would feel confining," Yumi said with a grin, raised her shoulders and squealed a little, "I feel freer than ever."

"Seriously, never squeal like that again," Aelita said, sipping her coffee and smiling, "I take pride in the fact I know a girl who doesn't do that."

"Sorry, but it's just...I don't even know," Yumi said looked at her cup, wanting to squeal again but took a sip to swallow the urge back down.

"I've been with Jeremie for three years. Welcome the the honeymoon phase sweetie, it doesn't last," Aelita said in an attempt to rationalize her expectations.

"I know, that's why I'm going to enjoy this to the fullest."

* * *

Ulrich sat in his room, with what Odd described as the dumbest grin in the world on his face. He couldn't help it, because he finally had Yumi. Odd knew why, but he still felt the need to make fun of his for it. Ulrich just ignored him, and let himself enjoy it.

When they had been dating for a week, Ulrich sat doing his homework when his door knocked.

"Come in," Ulrich shouted and turned to see Aelita poking her head in, "What's up?"

"Here's Jeremie's notes," Aelita said, handing him a sheet of paper with math notes neatly written for him.

"Thanks," Ulrich said and Aelita sat down on the bed and smiled at him, "You're freaking me out, what?"

"We both pulled it off," Aelita said and Ulrich was confused, "Jeremie saved our relationship, and you got Yumi to say yes and stay with it. You should see her when you're not around. She's acting like a girl, it's kind of creepy," Aelita said and Ulrich laughed.

"I guess we did," Ulrich said and placed the notes on his desk while Aelita leaned her back on his bed. She stretched and felt a notebook between the wall and bed and reached for it. It was a composition notebook. Yumi's composition notebook.

"You son of a bitch," Aelita said and held it up. Ulrich turned and saw the book, "Explain this."

"I think you need to first," Ulrich said and Aelita sighed and looked down.

"I found it. Hiroki threw it out his window and I didn't know it was hers," Aelita said and stood up and walked over to him, "Your turn."

"First line I read, I knew it was her's. I wanted, answers."

"Answers?"

"An explanation, she is so contradictory I just wanted to know what she actually says about me when she thinks no one is looking. How she truly feels?"

"Who is she dating, you or the fictional character she wrote in here?" Aelita said, shoving the notebook into his chest. Ulrich grabbed it before it fell, looking down at it then back at her. Aelita stared him down before she shook her head and left.

* * *

Ulrich knocked on Yumi's door the next morning, notebook in hand. Ulrich took a few breathes before he heard movement from inside. Hiroki answered the door and shouted for Yumi when he saw the notebook in his hand.

"You are so dead," Hiroki said as he walked away.

Ulrich exhaled as Yumi came down the stairs and without missing a beat walked right outside and kissed him.

"Hey, you're early," Yumi said and smiled. Ulrich sighed and held out the notebook. Yumi looked at it, then back at him before slowly taking it. Opening it to a random page she read a little before closing it again.

"How much?" Yumi asked, and noticed Ulrich didn't know what that meant, "How much did you read?"

"Cover to cover," Ulrich answered honestly, and Yumi swallowed before she felt her hand shaking, "I'm sorry."

"How did you get it?" Yumi asked.

"It fell out of your bag in Aelita's room. I went to drop off notes I borrowed, it was there," Ulrich said, not wanting to drag Aelita into this, since this wasn't about her.

"Why did you read it?" Yumi asked and Ulrich looked down, "Why?"

"Honest answer?" Ulrich asked, Yumi nodding and crossing her arms.

"Because you drive me insane. You're an indecisive flip flopper, making me question everything I think I know about you at least once a week. You like me, you hate me, we're good friends, and maybe I just want to know why. Maybe I want something resembling consistency.

"Maybe I just wanted to know if you even liked me. I could have been wasting my time with you, and maybe I wanted to know if I should move on."

"Maybe," Yumi said and stepped into her house, "Maybe you were right," and slammed her door.

* * *

Ulrich sat at dinner alone, slowly picking his food in between not eating. Slowly exhaling, he was about to get up and dump his tray before Aelita sat across from him. Aelita stared him down as he stood up and shook her head to stop him.

"Sit," Aelita said, and for some reason Ulrich listened, "You did the right thing."

"It doesn't feel that way," Ulrich said, deciding to take a bite a the cake on his tray.

"The right thing usually doesn't. You told Yumi, and you risked what happened. Would you rather that secret digging at you? Thanks for leaving me out of that by the way," Aelita said, giving a small laugh that Ulrich returned.

"Maybe it was never meant to be," Ulrich said and Aelita's shook her head.

"I read that diary too. She wanted you so bad, it hurt reading about it. The picture she painted of you, I wanted it. I wanted to meet the Adonis, this fictitious Greek god she assumed you were. Even I fell in love with he guy she wrote about it," Aelita said, smiling at him.

"That explains a lot," Ulrich said with a laugh.

"Shut up," Aelita said while shaking her head, "But I went a little crazy for a minute. Yumi went a little crazy, for years. She has years of pent up crazy to let out. She was expecting perfection, and now she's pissed because she knows you're flawed."

"What exactly are you telling me?"

"Wait it out. I don't have a doubt in my mind she loves you. She needs to make her expectations realistic first. She'll decide soon," Aelita said and left the table.

* * *

Yumi avoided Ulrich for a full week. They'd come close to passing each other in the hallway, and Yumi would do a quick pivot and turn the other way. Ulrich didn't chase, he just sighed and kept walking.

After class he'd get to his room and look at his phone like if he blinked he's miss her text or call. When the first week passed, he stop holding his phone and just ate dinner with everyone else. No one pushed the issue onto him, they didn't talk about it and he didn't mention it. Two weeks passed and he assumed she had decided.

Ulrich had spent the entire day in his room before Odd came in, and saw him in the same place he had been when he left five hours ago.

"Get out," Odd said while he sat on his bed and kicked his shoes off. Ulrich ignored him, making Odd take off his sock and throw it at him. It hit him in the face, making Ulrich jump up.

"What the hell man!" Ulrich shouted.

"Get out of the room, go work out or something," Odd said said and Ulrich groaned and sat on his bed. Ulrich shrugged and reached into his drawers and pulled out a shirt and a set of shorts.

"Fine, I'll be in the gym," Ulrich said and left with his water bottle and a towel.

Odd stretched out in the room that was now to himself. Playing his music Odd heard a knock on the door a few minutes later. Odd rolled off his bed and opened the door, and saw Yumi.

"Ulrich?" Yumi asked and Odd shook his head.

"Gym," Odd said and Yumi smiled.

"Thanks," Yumi said and started to walk down the hall.

"Hey," Odd said and stepped out into the hallway, "Yumi wait up a minute."

"Yeah?" Yumi asked, waiting for him to talk.

"Look, I'm his best friend, and I do want him to be happy. You're my friend too, that's why I feel like I have to be blunt. I see what you're going to do. I've seen girls I've hurt come back time and time again," Odd said and Yumi smiled.

"I never really let him explain," Yumi said and Odd sighed.

"Shut the fuck up Yumi," Odd said and Yumi flinched, "I've watch you roller coaster my best friend for three years. Unless you are sure, this is it. This is the time you will actually give this a real shot, stay the fuck away from him."

"Odd?" Yumi asked, taking a step back, "Why is everyone attacking me? You, Aelita."

"You know why. We all care about Ulrich, and the only reason we've never said anything, is because you're our friend too. Saying it to a friend is harder, and this is not easy telling one of my friends to fuck off, but I'm doing it."

Yumi said nothing as she looked down. A moment later she looked up, and tried to speak again but didn't.

"Do you understand?" Odd asked and Yumi slowly nodded.

"Yeah, loud and clear," Yumi said and turned around.

* * *

Ulrich had finished his stretch and three sets of pullups before he heard a thud from behind him. Dropping from the bar Ulrich turned and saw Yumi had dropped a mat on the ground. She had a faint smile and started taping her hands.

"Wanna fight?" Yumi asked and Ulrich chuckled.

"Sure, you haven't brought out the gloves in awhile," Ulrich said and Yumi smiled.

"I need to kick the shit out of you for reading my diary," Yumi said and tossed him the roll of tape, "Get ready, cause this will be the beat down of a lifetime."

Ulrich rolled the tape onto his hands then put on their gloves. Both removed their shoes and circled each other around the mat.

"Beat down of a lifetime?" Ulrich asked and Yumi smiled.

"My basis of comparison for a relationship, is my parents. Two people, who shouldn't be together, who are trapped because they have kids. I don't want to feel trapped," Yumi said and Ulrich smiled.

"I get it," Ulrich said and Yumi shook her head.

"No you don't. You have no idea, none of you do," Yumi said and took a stance.

"Then tell me what I don't under..." Ulrich started before moving his head away from a jab.

"You don't get it," Yumi said and swung again, "All I see at the end, is us bitter and angry."

"You're scared of that..."Ulrich said before Yumi connected with the side of his head with a hook.

"That's why I've always pushed you away, the moment I let you in. That's why I always look for a reason. Then you gave me what I was looking for," Yumi said before she noticed Ulrich wasn't trying, "Hit me god dammit!"

Ulrich hooked hard and the moment it connected he realized she wasn't dodging. The blow sent Yumi sprawling to the mat in a daze, her landing on her stomach. Yumi pushed up with her arms as Ulrich knelt down next to her.

"You okay?" Ulrich asked before she whipped around quickly and swiped him in the face. He rolled to his side and was quickly mounted, allowing Yumi to start pounding him into the ground.

"What were you looking for?" Ulrich asked between punches as he manged to push out and get her into a guard.

"A reason to walk away!" Yumi shouted as Ulrich flipped her into an arm bar. Yumi caught her wrist before he sunk it in, allowing her to roll backwards to her feet with her wrist still lock.

"Oh shit," Ulrich said before Yumi let her wrist go and punch him square in the face. With her second hand free she moved to attack but was tripped and fell to her side. Ulrich and Yumi rolled to to their feet, Yumi rushing in and locked his neck. She rammed her knee in his chest. Ulrich blocked to the next to and pivoted his body to make her miss and lose balance.

Ulrich landed on top of her, but Yumi was fast and got into a guard position and punched up, catching him once before he caught her to. Yumi guarded her face, surprised how hard Ulrich was laying down blows. After a moment his rhythm got predictable, allowing her to catch his face. In one swift motion she push away and clinched his head in between her thighs.

"Tap," Yumi said as she squeezed, Ulrich writhing on the ground. He tried knifing his hand in between but Yumi wasn't budging, and it actually allowed her to adjust and move from his head to his neck. Now she was choking him on top of smothering.

"Tap out!" Yumi shouted before Ulrich rolled to his knees and grabbed the top of her shorts, "Oh shit."

Ulrich got to his feet and slammed her back to the mat. Yumi let him go, the wind knocked out of her as Ulrich sat with his head in her crotch.

"Get off," Yumi said while rolling to her side and away.

Both lay on the mats, out of breath and battered. Ulrich tried to sit up but Yumi kicked him down again.

"I'm sorry," Ulrich said, and tried getting up again, this time Yumi letting him. Yumi got to her knees and smiled.

"I want to trust you. So, I'll admit, I forced your hand. You knew what I wanted, more than I did. But I mean it when I say, I don't want to feel trapped," Yumi said, now in tears as Ulrich moved toward her.

Ulrich took her hands and, Yumi looking up at his smile.

"Don't say I don't get it, because I do. We may be in different cages, but a cage is a cage. You're afraid of being you're parents, so you walk away. I'm afraid of being my dad, but I hate to admit how much I actually am like him. Sometimes, that's not a bad thing.

"For everything I can say about my dad, I think I understand him more as time passes. He pisses me off, and I feel like he's too forceful, but he's right more than he's wrong. Sometimes I think, ending up like my dad might not be a bad thing. For everything I can say about him, he's successful in everything he does.

"My dad sees that same potential in me, so that's why he pushes as hard as he does. I really don't think I can live up to it. I'm more like my mom," Ulrich said, taking off his gloves and placing them next to him.

"I'm like my dad. Nothing is ever my fault, I deflect blame, I'm easily angered, and I lash out at those I love," Yumi said, taking off her gloves and tossing them aside, "I just worry he'll actually hit my mom. Sometimes I feel he's just one bad day away from that."

"We aren't our parents," Ulrich said, grabbing her hands and smiling. Letting her go he stood up and extended his hand out to help her to her feet.

"I need time, okay?" Yumi asked, this not being the answer Ulrich was expecting.

"Why?"

"Because, I don't want to rush. I know we've already...done things that usually constitute...together. I don't think I'm ready. I want to be, but I haven't worked out my own insecurities yet. What I don't want to be is psycho girlfriend. Right now, I'm not confident enough to not be psycho girlfriend. I don't want a rocky, break up make up relationship," Yumi said, walking over to her bag and picking it up from the ground.

"We all have flaws Yumi, I don't hold them against you so why do you?"

"Ulrich, you're ready. You've matured well passed me. So if you're available when I'm ready too, then maybe we can have something. You asked if you have been wasting your time on me. You did."

Ulrich looked at the mats and sighed, looking back up and trying to say something. He knew it took her everything to admit that. Ulrich knew that was one of the most honest things she had ever told him about them.

"We really are, just good friends, huh," Ulrich said and Yumi nodded.

"Yeah, and I think I mean it this time," Yumi said, shaken from tears that were breaking through her facade, "Friends are forever though, right."

"Of course," Ulrich said and hugged her, Yumi crying into his shoulder, "I'll always be there for this."

Ulrich kissed her on the cheek and left the gym alone. Yumi stood in place for nearly ten minutes, letting everything sink in. Taking her bag Yumi wiped her face and walked to the gate and left Kadic to walk home.

Yumi opened her door and sat down on her bed, and broke down. Falling back she covered her face in the pillow and cried until it hurt her ribs and ached her body. Waking up the next morning with tears stained to her face, she washed up and sat on her bed with her notebook in her lap.

 _"We're never meant to be. Maybe not never, but not right now. I'm just not ready to be who he needs. Who he deserves. Maybe one day, I will be. To say he'll be there when I catch up, is wishful thinking. Another girl, who is ready for what he's looking for, will get him first. And she'll deserve him. The sad part is, I'll only know I'm ready when seeing her with him, doesn't bother me. So never mind, it wasn't meant to be._

 ** _The End_**


End file.
